[SamuelMember]

Hello Michael,

Thank you for your reply.As someone transitioning to the 5th stage of cognitive development (Robert Kegan’s model) I found it particularly helpful.

[SamuelMember]

What I want from this topic are strategies for using social interactions to cultivate wholesome qualities. I am well aware that renunciation has to be regulated.

[SamuelMember]

I decided to make one last post on this topic. I will consider my concerns addressed if the following context is provided on Culadasa’s consultation page (not necessarily in this order):

1) he has a family to provide for and has given up a steady source of income in order to devote himself to teaching

2) he offers many freely available resources (provide links)

3) he would not be able to do both 1 and 2 without his consultations

4) his online discussion forum is a place where one can get useful advice for free from his teachers in training

Given this context I do not think his consultations will rub people the wrong way.

I would like to point out as a closing remark that Culadasa’s consultation page is the first page to grab your attention on his website. For that reason it is important that it does not create a bad impression out of context.

[SamuelMember]

“*One way to say it would be that now when I tune into the fact that I’m not in a world of objects and people in the way that I previously thought I don’t have a model to replace it with and that’s pretty damn terrifying.”

I thought you might find the following quote useful:

“All models are wrong, but some are useful.”
– George Box, Statistician

[SamuelMember]

Hello Colleen,

I am unaware of this being done on an open forum and after thinking about it I do not think it should. I would like to say however that there is a company called Next Jump where everyone’s key weaknesses are available in a database that any employee can access. It is simply not acceptable at Next Jump to have 0 key weaknesses. Even the CEO has specific things that they want feedback on. While new employees are at first uncomfortable with this they quickly get use to it and find it helpful.

[SamuelMember]

Due to cultural differences I should have stated this upfront. When I calmly express anger like this I am trying to urgently communicate the fact that I am concerned. I am not offend and apologize for the confusion. Given my poor health, this will be my last post on this topic. If able-bodied people want to continue this discussion that is fine. For those who are making aggressive accusations without evidence, I politely encourage you to read slower in the future.

Best Wishes,

Samuel

[SamuelMember]

I think Culadasa is doing the right thing. But what I want are 2 things:

1) For his consultation page to offer enough context that it does not rub people the wrong way

2) For a set of ethical standards to be produced regarding the charging of fees that could help students who know little about the Dharma distinguish between legitimate and illegitimate Dharma teachers.

[SamuelMember]

One way to address my second concern would be to have a service that is basically linked-in for Dharma teachers.

[SamuelMember]

Thank you for your mature response. I would like to clarify that my concerns are:
1) If I share Culadasa’s website with people, THEY will think it is a cult.
2) If legit teachers like Culadasa start doing things like this, it will be harder to tell the difference between a legit teacher and someone more interested in your money than your spiritual growth (like a cult leader).

I more concerned about the unintended consequences of his doing this than about his motivations.
I am not accusing him of anything.

[SamuelMember]

Edit: When I wrote this post I was extremely exhausted. I would like to clarify that it was nothing more than a poorly written attempt to communicate what I wrote in later posts.

I am fairly angry so I apologize in advance if I fail to communicate effectively.

I want you to imagine what it would be like for someone who didn’t know you to visit your website. Interested in you private consultations, they click the link and to their own amazement they find that you are charging $325 for a 45 minute session. How do you think that will come across?

I was going to share your website with some friends because I have deeply benefited from your teachings. Now I am too embarrassed. I don’t care why you are charging that much; as a spiritual leader, you have the obligation to make sure your behavior is easily distinguishable from that of a cult leader. I hope you understand I no longer feel comfortable telling people how much I appreciate your teachings out of concern they will think I joined a cult.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by  Samuel.

[SamuelMember]

What I am suggesting is that Sasha’s catch-22 may be best solved using techniques that do not depend on meditation during daily life.

[SamuelMember]

When I use the term self awareness, I use it as a technical term with a highly specific meaning. According to emotional intelligence research we do not control when we experience an emotion or craving. Instead, these things are controlled by automatic unconscious processes.

What I mean by self awareness is the ability to reflect on one’s emotions and to intelligently decide what to do with them, rather than be driven by them. Thus, what I meant by a self awareness technique is a strategy for making one’s emotions an object of one’s meaning making, instead of the method of one’s meaning making.

Examples:
1) Labeling: Identify which emotion you are experiencing and give it as specific a label as possible. Instead of the simple label of anger, for instance, distinguishing between indignation, frustration, mild impatience, rage, and angry regret. People who use labeling in daily life are less likely to abuse substances and more likely to eat in moderation.

2) Body awareness: Identify what your emotion is doing to your body. Figure out where it impacts your body, being very specific. Figure out what sensations it is producing. This trains our minds to detect the emotion more rapidly in the future.

3) Observe the observing:
Your state of mind is coming from part of you but is not coming from you as a whole. Observing the fact that you are observing the emotion makes this experientialy clear and makes emotional discomfort more tolerable.

Sources: the books “The Upside of Your Dark Side” and “Emotional Intelligence 2.0”

• This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by  Samuel.

[SamuelMember]

Do you think it would help to learn some self awareness techniques that do not depend on meditation?

[SamuelMember]

Hello Ted,

Thank you for the reply. I am aware that renunciation is not about giving up things that I find enjoyable. I have found in my own experience however that mindless entertainment, sense indulgence, and useless chatter harm the quality of my life more than they help it. I am renouncing these things not because someone told me to but because I have found through my own experience that I am happier without them.

But I am trying to figure out how to spend time with people who value these things strongly without it feeling like I am wasting my time.

[Author]

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