[FredericMember]

Hi,

It sounds like a gross distraction now, congratulations!

[FredericMember]

Hi,

I never had such a difficulty directly but the times I went through periods of lack of sleep, what helped me was multiple “micro” practices. Sitting 5 or 10 min with clarity, stopping before nodding off and then to repeat it later in the day. It was more energy management than anything, and later I was able to increase the time.

I don’t have much more to offer than that, seeing you already deal with sleep hygiene. Only thing I didn’t see in your post is about physical exercise. For years I was working on the night shift and the only thing that allowed me to get some sleep was enough exercise.

Hope it will help you,
Frédéric

[FredericMember]

Hi,

Could you walk us through a typical sit?

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by  Frederic.

[FredericMember]

Hi,

Awareness is more like the field, the background where everything you’re, well, aware of is happening. Attention is that part of the field that is more vivid, with more details.

One usual habit when trying to keep focus on something is to try to ignore everything else. That’s because we tend to get distracted by many things: sounds, toughts, feelings… Distractions that are in awareness. That’s normal and that’s okay. Your goal here isn’t to keep a tight focus on the breath, you can’t do it. The goal is to set an intention to follow the breath and when you get distracted and you notice it (the “aha” moment), to gently bring back your attention on the breath sensations, enjoying that moment of “waking up”.

Over time, you’ll get less and less distracted because you’re training the mind to stay on the breath. It’s a bit like training a puppy to sit: you say “sit!”, and either you help it to sit, or you give some treat when it sits, or you bring it back when it starts to move around. (I hope it’s clear, my experience with puppies is very limited).

Inwardly, attention and awareness aren’t an experience of sequential states, they go together but can contract or expand.

This thread with an answer from Culadasa may help.

Come back if you have more questions!

• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by  Frederic.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by  Frederic.

[FredericMember]

Hi,

I’m not sure I understand your questions and how it plagues you.

Do you want to understand how does it work? Or what to do in your practice?

[FredericMember]

Hi,

Introspective awareness includes thoughts, feelings, etc. This faculty allows you to catch distractions so you won’t forget to follow the breath. You can see it as “the background”. You’re not supposed to split your attention (“the foreground”) between the breath and other sensations, as they are different faculties. Introspective attention, on the other hand, is used while checking-in, to develop this introspective awareness. You can read more about it in the stage 3 and 4 chapters or to get a better feel for the difference between attention and awareness here.

Basically, you try to keep the sensations of the breath at the center of your attention without shutting out anything at all. More than “concentration”, you want stability of attention whatever happens.

Let me know if this was helpful or if you need more clarifications.

I wish you well,
Frédéric

[FredericMember]

Yes, when you know you’ll have a meeting with difficult people or a reactive situation.

I find listening amazing as a practice!

I wish you the best

[FredericMember]

Hi,

Small thing to add: staying mindful off-cushion is working in the same way than on the cushion.

You set an intention to stay mindful and when you notice you aren’t anymore, you reinforce positively the “coming back”, you renew the intention and you keep going. This positive reinforcing is as important here, and I know from experience that it’s easier to blame oneself in daily life, as the sense of self is stronger when interacting with other people. It’s the same process and you aren’t in control of it.

Something to try also is to take a few moments to relax and renew the intention just before a triggering situation. You’ll lose awareness but it’s okay, it’s part of the process.

Finally, I’ve found that the practice of listening (active listening, deep listening, non violent communication, etc.) and to learn how to communicate efficiently is extremely fruitful in daily life. Not easy, but it pays off enormously and you’ll benefit from it in all of your relationships. I’ve learned the hard way that, in fact, I didn’t know how to listen and share my experience. Still a work in progress though!

Cheers

• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by  Frederic.

[FredericMember]

Hi,

Do you mean what to practice while falling asleep or what to practice in order to fall asleep?

The article On Mindful Awareness vs Dullness may be interesting to read.

I avoid the body scan while going to sleep as it tends to keep me very awake.

Cheers

[FredericMember]

Hi,

It won’t be published. You can still get a copy (at least electronic one) by supporting Culadasa on Patreon.

Cheers

[FredericMember]

Hi,

Obviously we’re all different but here’s what seemed to work for me:

• At first, or after a long break from practice, I’d start with only short sessions (“how short for me is okay to not feel any resistance to sitting” kind of short). It would be 5 or 10 min, just enough to feel a bit of relaxation and enjoy that time I took for myself.
• Then, instead of sitting for a longer time, I’d sit more often: two, three, four times a day, each time with an emphasis on the relaxation, feeling good, really enjoying that small bit of time. Like this, practice time is strongly associated with positive emotions.
• It was really important to not beat up myself for “not sitting for long enough” or “being lazy” etc.
• Similarly, I had to let go of the desire for results. I wanted to build the “joy of being a practicioner”. Attitudes of curiosity and playfulness are seriously helpful, and are prepping you for the days when difficulties will come up. Relax. I mean it.
• Finally, I’d start to increase the sitting time by just a bit. Just enough to go out of my comfort zone but not enough to build resistance. It’s all about staying at the edge and building success. Like weight lifting or stretching, you don’t want to brute force it, just to push a bit over the limit. It may take a while but in the end, you’ll get to the point when you can sit for those 45-60 min not dreading it.

The book Hardwiring Happiness was really helpful. It’s about enjoying the little things and really feel them, many times a day. I combined it with informal metta meditation and a mindfulness bell application. Each time the bell would ring, I’d try to generate the metta feelings and just feel them. In terms of “strength” for the feeling, I consider that a 1 or 2 over 10 is more than enough. It’s more about the spreading than about the intensity. After a while, the feeling and joy would just happen each time my phone would ring!

Lastly, I’m all about changing points of view: in my eyes, any emotional reaction happening, any thought happening is an old conditioning or unconscious conflict coming up to find resolution and purification. It’s a good thing! This Ted talk from Kelly McGonigal about stress was of great help.

In a way, you used conditioning and fabrications for your benefits and build tiny habits. When you show up every day, after a while you start to need it to be functional.

I hope it was of help and wish you the best.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by  Frederic.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by  Frederic.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by  Frederic.

[FredericMember]

Hi,

You can find teachers working with TMI there: https://dharmatreasure.org/teachers-in-training/

For your original question, here’s what I’ve heard: you can’t avoid the knowledges of suffering but you can definitely avoid the dark night, as long as your practice is balanced (cultivate the 8-fold path and the practice of virtue). That has been my experience so far. Sometimes, practice can be challenging but I can see why it has been said to be “good in the beginning, good in the middle, good in the end”.

Cheers

[FredericMember]

You may try the Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/culadasa

I don’t have any specific recommendation, I only followed the ones for the retreat “Joy & Meditation”.

[FredericMember]

Hi!

I’m one of the new student teachers. I’m not yet qualified to answer but I can share my own experience with the 4-steps.

First of all, I have to admit that it took me almost a year before starting my sits with it. I was used to breath at the nose immediately and kept doing it. Nothing wrong with that, it’s supposed to help you, not to give you confusion and a headache.

Having said that, I now use it each time as a warm-up (albeit relaxing). First step is open, to relax and see if I’m present or tend to get lost in thoughts. It’s a moment of appreciation: I take some time for myself, I can relax, it’s nice to sit, etc. If there’s agitation, it’s okay, I can wait a bit for everything to calm down. Do I know I’m sitting?

Then I start to slowly restrict my focus of attention and see what happens. First with the body in the foreground and then I wait a bit. Does my awareness collapse or can I keep my surroundings in the background? Can I restrict more what goes in the foreground without losing the background? Does the attention need more space?

Like this, closer and closer to the breath at the nose while keeping the awareness open.

Even though I talk about “restricting”, I found two things helpful:

• Meditation is a going toward process, not a pushing away from process. We’re moving toward the breath, the four steps are here to give a direction.
• Attention reacts better when it’s on a “leash”. I like to think that it’s why we call the breath an anchor. You can’t just say “stay here!” and expect it not to move, not before stage 7 at least! We give it a space to run in (like a paddock) and let it run there, and when we see it’s not going crazy, we reduce the space again. When it goes crazy, we give it a bigger space or we wait a bit longer. It’s really like taming an animal.

So, this is my experience. Now, if I can share some advice I received: it’s okay if you don’t go through the 4-steps. You don’t have to. It’s here to make the whole process more pleasant, like taking a bath and relaxing before the work, but it’s by no mean a prescription.

For your other questions:
2. Does the image of a paddock help? The body here is the paddock. Don’t focus on the whole body at once, see it more like the playground where the attention can wander in. When it goes out, bring it back gently. If it goes naturally toward the breath, it’s great! Can you reduce the space around it? When you do, does it stay on the breath?

3/4. Here, I would say to keep feelings of pain or pleasure in the background and to keep the breath in the foreground. Appreciate the joy, it’s a positive state of mind! It will help to keep the breath interesting. If the attention wanders, when you notice, bring it back.

Finally, I would encourage you to try a guided meditation by Culadasa. You can find a few on the website and they really help to set the tone.

Please let me know if you need clarifications. I wish you well.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by  Frederic.

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