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December 3, 2016 at 6:49 pm #1684
Wow, the subreddit is a lot more active than this forum! Also /r/streamentry seems interesting as well. I’m definitely gonna move to reddit and finally use an old account I created there like 8 months ago…
November 23, 2016 at 5:43 pm #1666Hey Sergey,
I’m very happy for you, man!
“I am very dedicated to reach first Jhana now, cause I believe it will be a huge relief for me. I don’t make it an obsession or craving, but intention is there.”
Yes, please don’t make it an obsession. That can become very frustrating. Just try to do your best each time you meditate and forget about jhana, let it happen by itself as a result of overcoming the hindrances and developing the jhanic factors enough.
“It’s hard to be on this path, but last weeks without meditation clearly showed me that not meditating is totally not an option for me.”
I also went through that same experience many times in the past. The path can be hard sometimes, but the alternative only leads to suffering for yourself and all beings, that’s for sure. It sounds like you’re heading the right way, so keep going!
With Metta,
Charles
November 15, 2016 at 2:55 pm #1662Hey Ivan,
“Anything that makes you ‘accident prone’ can eventually do the job.”
I really hope that’s the case, for the benefit of all beings.
What I meant by fully-awakened was becoming an Arahant.
Also being an Arahant doesn’t mean one is perfect in every way conceivable, I don’t think that’s possible at all, there will always be room for improvement in other areas of life. A fully-awakened one is someone who reached the ultimate goal of the practice (in my tradition) by getting rid of all ten fetters of becoming, a lot easier said than done!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetter_(Buddhism)
I’m actually more than happy with reaching any of the lower 3 stages of enlightenment to be honest, even the 1st one. Because after attaining the fruit of Stream Entry you’re guaranteed Nibbana, it’s irreversible at that point. Whatever happens I will continue to meditate for as long as I live (like the Buddha did).
With Metta,
Charles
November 11, 2016 at 8:33 pm #1653Some say it’s possible to become fully-awakened using metta as your only method for accessing the jhanas. It’d be great to learn what Culadasa thinks about that. I’m not entirely convinced that’s true so for me the breath remains my main object of meditation. But metta is still something we all could use more of. It can be life-changing when you realize that the joy of love actually comes from loving, not from being loved. You can send your love this way to all beings anytime and experience mind-blowing bliss if you cultivate it long enough. This pleasure causes no harm to anybody. It’s not dependent on external factors, such as using other people. Most of us are truly unaware of how much control we have over how we shape our experience. I wish all beings come in contact with the truth (Dhamma) eventually and for them all to be free of suffering. Yes, even those that have caused and will cause me and countless of others to suffer. I sincerely and with all my heart also wish them everlasting true happiness.
With Metta,
CharlesOctober 19, 2016 at 1:12 pm #1635“I mostly meditate open-eyed due to the dullness, and it’s a bit better, but the dullness still overcomes me and I have to strive very hard to keep attention from weakening and scattering due to dullness, and sometimes strive to keep eyes from closing.”
Oh I see. Then you definitely need to make some changes in your life (outside of meditation) like many people here have suggested. Drinking more water (very important, the brain is 90% water after all), improving your diet and adding a bit of exercise to relieve yourself of at least some of the stress that is keeping you up at night, all these things can help tremendously.
October 18, 2016 at 5:52 pm #1626Hi Sasha,
I’ve read about what you describe but I’m not actually familiar with employing that technique. Two things you could try doing are meditating with your eyes open or walking meditation.
Some people actually prefer to meditate with their eyes open. This is because they carry the concentration throughout the day, and the mind doesn’t make a separation between closed-eyed and open-eyed practice. In other words, by not closing their eyes during meditation they train the mind to stay attentive all the time, not just when doing formal sitting. You can see if it works for you.
By the way here is a video (around 4:30) of what I’m talking about: https://youtu.be/ugc4kwWm81Y?t=273
With Metta,
Charles
October 17, 2016 at 6:23 pm #1620No problem, Chris. Hope at least some of it was helpful to you.
By the way, a lot can be written about it but a brief way to describe a healthy ego would be: you don’t experience yourself as being superior or inferior to others.
Also, it’s definitely possible to train yourself to become more compassionate and I know it from personal experience by the way. Though I’m far from being the Dalai Lama… I feel infinitely more loving and caring towards all beings now than I did when I was a child. The more you practice, the better you get at it.
With Metta,
Charles
October 17, 2016 at 7:09 am #1616Hey Chris,
“…I’m sort of trying to avoid spending thousands of dollars if I could eventually get to the same emotional place just through hard work on the cushion.”
You’re a smart man!
Definitely try to resolve your issues with meditation first. Conventional therapy can be your backup plan.
Like Kurt has said, loving-kindness meditation specifically can be of enormous help. But remember that you don’t start by sending love to the people who have wronged you. First you cultivate the emotion towards people, animals, etc. that you actually like. Also never forget to end the session by sending love towards yourself. Forgiveness towards others and specially towards oneself is essential. Lastly, the healing can take a long time to occur (just like with therapy), so patience and persistence are very important as well.
Culadasa mentioned in a talk that he had a difficult past and used to be a very angry person (hard to believe I know!). He resolved his inner conflict with meditation and mindfulness by replacing his past unwholesome patterns of behavior, beliefs, etc. with wholesome ones (the Buddha also did this before Awakening). I don’t think Culadasa mentioned going to a therapist. So it’s really amazing how you can heal and improve yourself following the Buddha’s path correctly. Ultimately of course, you transcend the self completely and all suffering is gone forever. But in the meantime you have to have a healthy ego, a positive sense of self to do the practice properly.
May you find true happiness in this very lifetime.
With Metta,
Charles
October 13, 2016 at 11:41 am #1601Ivan is right of course, physical pliancy is definitely not an on/off thing. I was only referring to the point when it reaches full maturation. In the same way one can experience brief yet very pleasant feelings of joy which only intensify later on, because meditative joy as well is not an on/off thing. It also matures depending on your level of unification of mind.
I forgot to add that if the particular pain you feel does not persist long after the sit, then you can either ignore it or do some insight practice like Ivan suggests (this is actually the best option if you really put your heart into it). But if the pain stays with you after you meditate, then it’s probably a sign that you need to change something about the way you’re sitting. It could be something as simple as switching legs in the middle of the session.
With Metta,
Charles
October 13, 2016 at 7:39 am #1597Two clear markers if you have reached the Stages we’re discussing (from what I have heard/read by Culadasa and his advanced students) is that the pleasure experienced at that point is much, much more stronger than sex. Sometimes a powerful energy current of piti loops along the spine and may lead to mild or even severe shaking/convulsions, the bliss can become overwhelming. Another key feature is that the body feels very pleasant and the only time bodily pain comes back is when you end the session, not during it.
Also remember that just being able to sit for 2 hrs or more without discomfort is not the same as the physical pliancy experienced at Stage 9. For example I’m able to sit for almost 3 hrs on the zafu with little pain, but I’m very far from Stage 9. Still working on mastering Stage 6, have been at it for many months now.
That last message you posted shows you have a healthy attitude regarding the practice by being honest with yourself, if you keep it up you will go very far I have no doubt.
With Metta,
Charles
October 12, 2016 at 7:09 am #1591Hey Andrew,
The mental and physical pliancy Ted mentioned is different than what you think. If it were already happening for you, then you wouldn’t be experiencing any bodily discomfort at all during your meditation like you describe. On the contrary there would be intense mental and physical pleasure arising. These are stages 8 and 9 respectively.
By the way, I’d recommend not using half-lotus or any lotus posture for long sits because you can permanently damage your knees, this is a common mistake many people have made. The burmese pose is a better option for extended sessions. Another great suggestion like Ted said would be to use a chair. You can even do 3-4 hour sits on a chair, if you have already mastered Stage 5 and know how to take care of subtle dullness.
With Metta,
CharlesOctober 2, 2016 at 9:32 am #1576All the advice provided here so far by Meshe and Jevan is very valuable. I know diet for example played a significant role in improving my quality of life, but also drinking plenty of water everyday. This last thing can’t be recommended enough.
By the way, if you try loving-kindness meditation and it doesn’t seem to work. Like you don’t actually feel the warm and glowing sense of unconditional love radiating towards yourself and others, it is suggested by Ajahn Brahm to start sending love to another being such as an imaginary puppy, then move on to a person you like, etc. Also he suggests really coming up with your own phrases for expressing love towards the being/person, rather than just repeating “may this person be happy” which sometimes if you’re not in the right mood, can feel dry and not straight from the heart.
Here’s an example of what I’m saying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4Iwzy7kX1s
Lastly, I recently was being too hard on myself with my own practice and decided to slow down. It is very important however to keep meditating everyday even if one doesn’t feel like doing it. You can maybe cut down to 20 min? Even 10 min is better than nothing.
I wish you all the best, Sergey. I truly hope you will be able to deal skilfully with your obstacles.
With Metta,
CharlesSeptember 21, 2016 at 5:00 pm #1542Thanks for the detailed response!
Funny thing is I also started meditating daily in May as well. I quit listening to music, watching movies, etc. and started trying to cultivate as much mindfulness as possible. I keep my breath in the field of awareness all day, because it helps me to stay present and also to strengthen peripheral awareness.
If I were you I’d start practicing the pleasure jhanas in one of your daily sessions. They will help you make further progress by stabilizing your effortlessness, which will aid in gaining mastery of stage 7.
Also I definitely suggest you make it a priority of reading the whole book (TMI). You will save yourself a lot of trouble if you follow Culadasa’s advice. I made some mistakes early on which slowed my progress, such as cultivating concentration with dullness. At this point I’m trying to overcome some restlessness (not mind-wandering btw, just bodily anxiety) which comes about as a result of striving too hard and generating too much energy when meditating. Basically just dealing with stage 6 and finding one-pointedness very difficult and stressful to sustain. But here’s one thing I read the other day by Culadasa which gave me hope:
“When one first achieves one-pointedness, it requires constant effort and vigilance to maintain, and is easily lost. In my case there was a long and tedious period of practice at this level.”
So yeah, he had to go through the same ordeal…
You seem to be doing great so just keep at it! Best wishes for your practice!
With Metta,
Charles
September 21, 2016 at 2:19 pm #1537Hey Chris,
To me it sounds like you’re making progress! I have a couple of questions, if you don’t mind…
For how many months have you been meditating daily? How long each session? Have you done any intensive retreat practice? What sort of mindfulness technique you employ off the cushion throughout the day?
With Metta,
Charles
September 14, 2016 at 11:30 am #1513“The ego would happily keep you moving from one thing to another, endlessly.”
So true…
“(Let’s keep in mind as well, Culadasa has arranged and selected certain practices for good reason, hence, we should be cautious to make changes without deep consideration)”
For sure, I won’t make any changes to the main anapanasati practice as outlined by Culadasa. If he recommends breathing with the whole body at the point where I’m at, it is for a good reason like you say. So I will continue doing exactly that (2-4 hrs daily), while also adding one or two shorter sessions of “just sitting” as well and see what happens.
I’ll let you know how it goes, and thanks for the good advice and the words of encouragement. I wish you the best for your own practice!
With Metta,
Charles
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