[KimWMember]

Hi Tom,
I’m glad to hear that your goal is stream entry, but am curious as to why you would want to switch traditions once that has been attained. I have practiced extensively in the Zen and Theravadin tradition, and to some degree in the Tibetan tradition, and they all have good practices, but are quite different. Culadasa refers to First Path, rather than stream entry, as there are practices for each stage of the path.

In some schools of Zen, koan practice is used, and so if you switched to that, yes, you would probably need to start over. Although Zen can be quite effective, there is not the same level of understanding of how the mind works as Culadasa teaches. The same thing for Tibetan Dzogchen practice. The preliminary practices are different, as are the main practices. There are some very skillful means for developing compassion, which can be good for all of us. But again, there is not the understanding of neuroscience which makes TMI so effective.

Following the instructions in TMI and Culadasa’s teaching, you can progress to stream entry and beyond. I find other practices to be helpful along the way, but would not want to give up the clarity and effectiveness of these teachings for another path. Good luck in your explorations!
Kim

[KimWMember]

Hi Laura,
It sounds like you are doing a lot of skillful things to train your mind, such as practicing regularly, and giving yourself positive feedback when you wake up. I also hear that you notice some agitation when there is mind wandering, and I’m wondering if there are particular topics around the mind wandering which you might notice? Although labeling is not really part of the 2nd stage, perhaps when you are practicing in stage 3, you could prioritize labeling and notice if there are any particular themes. Is there a lot of emotional content with any of these themes?

In the 6 step preparation, are you able to name some of the distractions which might come up and intend to put them aside when they arise? Also, are you spending plenty of time noticing pleasant body sensations, relaxation, and joy during the 4 step transition?

I had one teacher tell me (not TMI) that if the same thing keeps coming up in meditation practice, it might be a good idea to address whatever it is when you are not meditating. Therapy is sometimes helpful if challenging things are arising, and are causing agitation.

Just some thoughts, and best of luck in your practice!

[KimWMember]

Hi Jerry,

It sounds like the overall tone of the meditation at this point is more struggle and less ability to hold everything that is happening with a sense of equanimity, kindness and interest. The process that you describe is familiar to me, and happens when there are unresolved adverse events that have affected my nervous system. It makes it challenging to maintain attention on the breath without having attention collapse into it, or get pulled to thinking.

In addition to working with the underlying material during therapy, I try to maintain more of my mental power on awareness. If I can keep attention from tightening as much on the breath sensations, it makes the process much softer. My intention is for more of a relaxed attention to the breath sensations rather than trying to focus on the details as much. And I switch to compassion and loving kindness practice as needed. I need to watch out for the inclination to think I should be progressing in a certain way rather than dealing skillfully with what is happening in the moment.

Hope this helps.
Metta,
Kim

[KimWMember]

Hi Alexander,
It is a difficult place to be in when the hindrance of doubt is strong, especially if it stops your practice. Some possible ways to deal with doubt may be to talk to a teacher or practitioners who have been in a similar situation and have been able to move through it. Reading dharma books and listening to dharma talks can also be helpful. It may be useful to reflect on changes you have noticed in yourself already. Is there more kindness toward yourself and others? More equanimity around difficulties? More mindfulness in general? Noticing even small changes over a period of time can help with doubt.

If the doubt is about whether the teachings of Culadasa are helpful, I would say, yes indeed they are! However, it does require time and dedication to practice.

As far as your main question about Buddhist teachings of a higher power, the Buddha did not ask anyone to believe anything without finding out for themselves what is true. And meditation can lead you to an understanding of what is true about a higher guiding power of compassion. We tend to see everything through the lens of what is called perception in Buddhism, and when we see through our perceptions, we can get a sense of what you are looking for.

It is good that you have found a way to make compassion work for you. Compassion is an important part of Buddhist practice. There is a practice in Tibetan Buddhism, called the benefactor practice, which you may find useful. Recall a person, several people, an animal or a place which make you feel cared for and accepted. A benefactor may be a spiritual teacher, a family member, or even a kind stranger. Just recall a moment when you felt seen and cared about. Visualize yourself in the midst of these people while they are sending you unconditional love and compassion. Take it in fully and rest in it. What you are looking for in a higher power already exists with in all of us underneath the personality structures and sense of separate self. We just need to access it. You may want to check out the Foundation for Active Compassion by John Makransky. http://www.foundationforactivecompassion.com

Some practitioners of Tibetan Buddhism also connect with deity practice.
https://buddhaweekly.com/limitless-tara-beyond-green-buddha-bodhisattva-savior-mother-buddhas-hindu-maa-tara-goddess-many-colors-consort-buddhas-wisdom-mother-action-hero/

I hope you find these tips helpful, but if not please keep trying to find what works for you.
With Metta and Karuna,
Kim

[KimWMember]

Hi Kim,
I’m sorry to hear that you are having such significant symptoms. I just came through a period of illness from tick born disease, including adrenal fatigue. There was a lot of brain fog and negative thinking that made practice very unpleasant. I chose to focus on skillful intentions and easy practice, as I was not able to do much else.

I primarily listened to guided metta meditations, and especially liked the benefactor meditations by John Makransky. I also tried to keep turning the mind to more skillful thoughts, such as gratitude, compassion, and appreciation for any skillful intentions that arose during the day. I also found it helpful to recollect the attributes of the Buddha, or other spiritual teachers.

My understanding from Culadasa is that it is OK to use meditation leading into sleep, as long as it is done intentionally and with as much mindfulness as possible. To watch to onset of dullness and sleep can be quite interesting. However, if it is difficult to sustain any mindfulness of the process, it may indeed habituate the mind to more dullness. However, that could be worked with in the future when your health improves.

Wishing you karuna and strength to deal with these conditions.
Metta,
Kim

[KimWMember]

Hi Tim,

It sounds like you have gotten quite good advice from the other folks. Personally, I use standing meditation when I want less sensory input than with walking, but I cannot stay awake. I have found it quite effective, and often use it at the end of the day if I am quite tired, but still want to practice. I keep my knees very slightly bent, and my eyes open with an unfocused gaze. It takes some getting used to, but can be quite comfortable after a bit of practice.

I wonder if that would help you get through the first part of your practice, and enable you to sit for the remaining part, where it seems like you can stay awake.

Best,
Kim (Teacher in training)

[KimWMember]

Hi Black Ghost,

You were clear in your posts that you thought it would be a good idea to talk to someone. If you haven’t contacted anyone on the Teacher Training list, and would like to explore speaking with me, I would be willing to email you about our options. This would be by donation, rather than a set fee. I just started the Teacher Training in this method, although I have have been teaching other methods for a number of years. If you are interested, please let me know your email address.

With Much Metta,
Kim

[KimWMember]

Hi Black Ghost,

It sounds like you are feeling frustrated with the inability of the mind to settle. See if the following may be useful, and if not, something else can be tried. It is difficult to do these practices without falling into some expectations of what should be happening. Especially if you have been doing them for awhile. However, certain conditions, such as brain fog, may make it more difficult. In that case, it may be especially useful to pay more attention to the cultivation of skillful intentions rather than the results of those intentions.

Perhaps the first of those would be to acknowledge your intention to persevere in the case of difficult conditions, which is the practice and cultivation of patience and perhaps equanimity. If you can bring up the intention of compassion and kindness for yourself, those are also skills which can be cultivated during these difficult times, and can help to free the mind from suffering.

Notice the aversion that arises when the mind does not settle. This increases mindfulness of the hindrances. Consider trying to pay more attention to anything in your experience that is pleasant, or at least not unpleasant. Especially body sensations. It sounds like it is hard for you to connect to body sensations. Perhaps that is due to past conditions or to present illness. However, if the body is explored, you may be able to find an area which is accessible to your attention. If you find any area which is pleasant, consider using that area as a place to rest your attention, while still opening to peripheral awareness.

If there is no area of body sensation which you can find which is pleasant, then since you were able to rest attention on the sound of the breath, there is no reason why you cannot use that. Just make sure to keep practicing peripheral awareness at the same time.

Perhaps the goals of your practice could simply be to sit as well as you are able at any given time, noticing pleasant sensations, and cultivating mindfulness of both mind wandering and aversion to it, as well as compassion for yourself for the difficulties that you face.

[KimWMember]

Hi Black Ghost,
In addition to describing a typical sitting, could you share specifics as to how your 6 point preparation for practice goes? Have you tried any of the other forms, such as walking meditation or loving kindness practice, and if so what did you notice? What was the advice from other teachers, and specifically what happened when you tried it?

I hear the difficulty of practicing with the brain fog of Chronic Fatigue, which may be easier with more vivid/less unpleasant meditation objects.
Thanks, Kim

[KimWMember]

Hi Griffin and Peter,

This topic of mental suffering is a big one for sure, and I have used various approaches to help release the attachments. Noticing the aversion that arises around the habitual thoughts/emotions, and feeling into the physical sensations of that, as well as the physical sensations that are present with the original emotion can be helpful.

Keep peripheral awareness strong while exploring the habitual thoughts/sensations, which sometimes can be easier when practicing outdoors. Notice if the mental habit is to collapse attention into the mental/physical sensations, which engenders a strong sense of separate self with its inherent suffering. It can hard to do this when involved in interpersonal relationships. However, small changes can be encouraged by making note of every success or time when these habitual energies are not as strong.

Psychotherapy, or EFT tapping or anything else that works can be helpful to loosen these habitual patterns. It does not all have to be done with meditation, and habitual patterns are sometimes better addressed by other means.

” I’m not really sure what I’m leaving the river into? Is there a base experience of fear that is in the moment or is it all layered in imagination and eventually mental pain doesn’t actually exist in the present?” As practice deepens, there can be the realization of the suffering inherent in having a physical body, however, it is our perceptions of what is happening which lead to fear, and if the mind is free of clinging, there is no mental pain in the present moment.

[KimWMember]

One of the most useful reflections I have practiced is examination of the aggregates. When examining experience carefully, no discrete, lasting Self can be found, and all the aggregates are experienced as impermanent. When awareness of awareness becomes predominant, it is easy to then take awareness as “the Self.” There’s a strong desire in the mind to attach to something as “the truth” which is lasting, and secure.
The following from Culadasa is helpful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUYh-0Tkvjk

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