[Chris MMember]

> We will consider a weeknight class in the future depending on overall demand for the course.

(Hope this isn’t being annoying..) just checking in, how is registration going, any chance of changing one of the classes to later on Saturday, or on a weekday/night?

Peace,
🙂

[Chris MMember]

Just asking – is there any chance of offering one of the classes on another day? Saturdays during the day excludes quite a few people – those who work weekends, and those who leave town for the weekend.

Peace,
Chris

• This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by  Chris M.

[Chris MMember]

My mistake, I must have opened the ‘sticky’ topic at the top of the page in this forum, and saw the info from the last course, I didn’t click on the link in this post.

Thanks again,
Chris

** edit, I’m confused, I’m not sure what I was looking at and why I thought it was information for the previous course. brain fart.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by  Chris M.

[Chris MMember]

Hi Blake,

I see that, last time, there were two classes offered at different times on Saturday. I work on Saturdays, I’m home by 4pm PT, what times will the course(s) be starting this fall?

Thanks,
Chris

[Chris MMember]

I don’t know it, it’s only because the book (TMI, on p.33) states that “attention, on the other hand, can’t observe activities of the mind..” that I’m confused. I would otherwise be fairly sure that I’m using attention to observe anything that is my current focus – the thing that is foremost in my conscious awareness.

Thanks Ted,

[Chris MMember]

Thanks Ted, I understand what you’re saying.

However, I think my posts were confusing, that’s not quite what I was attempting to get at. I find it really tough to try to get my point across writing in English on the internet.

What I’m trying to ask is – if I look at a pencil, it’s currently in my attention. But, if I look at my mind state, it’s somehow not in my attention, the TMI book says I’m using my awareness. Even though it feels exactly the same as looking at a pencil.

Both things are in my conscious awareness, my main focus, but one is apparently using attention and the other is using awareness.

I don’t get it. How can both experiences feel the same, but are being experienced in fundamentally different ways. Why can’t I use attention to look at my mind state. It sure feels like I’m doing just that.

I will accept an answer such as – I don’t have the meditation skills to see it, it’ll become clear later. But I’d really appreciate some clarification or a pointing out of something I’m missing or misunderstanding.

[Chris MMember]

Stated another way:

If I look at a pencil, that’s what my attention is on. If I hear the sound of a passing car, that’s what my attention is currently on. I’m conscious that that’s what I’m focused on right now. I’m sitting here [doing x].

Suddenly, if I ‘take a step back’ and am now conscious of what’s going on in my mind, that’s no longer what my attention is on, that’s coming from my peripheral awareness? I don’t see the point of demarcation between different activities happening in attention versus awareness, when I’m conscious of all these activities in seemingly the same way.

[Chris MMember]

So what is happening when my attention seems to be on my mind state?

On page 33, it says (paraphrasing here) you can’t stand back and use attention observe what’s happening in your mind. Only awareness can see the current mind state. If I (using what I think is metacognitive introspective awareness) observe what’s going on in my mind right now, I’m able to stably rest in that state for some time, and my mind state is the focus.

I’m sitting here, I’m conscious that I’m here right now and it seems like my overall mind state is in my attention. I can observe a thought arise and pass, etc.

So what is happening – is it that my attention is on the contents of my peripheral awareness, which is currently my mind state, and that awareness is rapidly projecting “current mind state” content into my attention?

Thanks,

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by  Chris M.

[Chris MMember]

Thanks Kurt,

I’ll read the instructions in TMI and do some sits this weekend. The instructions I’d read previously were that I was supposed to cultivate a warm glow in my chest – the one I should feel when I think of a good experience in my life (I’m paraphrasing here..) and then make that the object of meditation. But I could never get that warm glow or anything like it, so figured I’d put metta practice aside until I got my ‘stuff’ figured out and was able to feel healthy emotions or whatever.

Peace,
Chris

[Chris MMember]

Hi Ivan, Kurt, and Charles, thanks for your replies.

I think I have a fairly healthy ego, I’m not very reactionary, I take negative experiences fairly well (I think?) How would you suggest that someone would gauge their ego-health?

Re: loving-kindness meditation, I tried last year, I also tried a ‘forgiveness’ meditation, and got nowhere in the month or so that I tried. Daily sits, one or two 1/2hr sessions. I really don’t feel much inside. I hesitate to include this in my post, but I did an online test a few years ago called “are you a sociopath?” and scored very high on it. I’m a good and nice person, I can empathize with people, I treat people really well, I’m in a pretty good mood right now, but I don’t have emotional reactions to situations. If I do something really nice for someone, I don’t get that warm feeling in my chest that people speak about. I just keep truckin along in my pretty good mood..

I will probably wait until I see some signs of improved emotional range to try loving-kindness meditation again.

Thanks again,

[Chris MMember]

Hi,
I’m really interested to hear about anyone’s experience with this topic.

I’m currently talking to a therapist. I have come to learn that I don’t have ‘normal’ levels of feelings and emotions. My brain chemistry is luckily very healthy, I’m in a pretty good mood most of the time, but I have no feelings or emotions. (I had some negative experiences when I was a child, and as a result have developed a habit of suppressing feelings.)

I’m at the point now where I have two choices, I can A) spend a good chunk of money on therapy and try to open the doors that I’ve created to hold things back, or B) I can take some time and meditate and let things come up on their own. I suppose there’s a third option – do both at the same time, but I’m sort of trying to avoid spending thousands of dollars if I could eventually get to the same emotional place just through hard work on the cushion.

So, have you started with some level of emotional baggage, and had it come up solely through a meditation practice as described in TMI, and had it heal?

Thanks very much,

[Author]

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