Holding goals/expectations lightly

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  ST1000 8 years ago.

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  • June 12, 2017 at 1:19 pm #1992

    ST1000
    Member

    hi all,

    It is so nice to have this forum to be able to discuss practice and to ask the group questions – thank you all.

    I am in Stage 5 practice and I believe I have difficulty not striving when practicing awareness of breathing.

    I practice for an hour with breath awareness in the morning and 1/2 hour with compassion practice at night time. I include self compassion and recite phrases such as “May I hold myself in compassion”, “May my suffering be eased”, and “May I be at peace/May I allow myself to rest”.

    I actually at times become more settled with the compassion practice (than with strict breath awareness) because through the compassion practice I believe I allow myself to be as I am and accept things how they are. I believe there is a subtle (or not so subtle) striving in my breath awareness practice that I am unable to fully let go of. I think there is an underlying wish (craving) to progress, have a very calm/pleasurable sitting, and to feel good. Just being aware of this striving tendency doesn’t seem to be enough to let go of it. In the compassion practice, I seem to let go of this striving attitude and let everything be as it is. In doing so, the mind and body tend to come to rest and stillness.

    Any suggestions on how to work with this?

    Thank you so much.

    Steve

    June 13, 2017 at 6:40 am #1993

    Sam B
    Member

    Is it possible to change the nature of the striving? In my book striving toward a wholesome goal like training the mind is not inherently bad, it’s just that a little perspective is needed. Instead of striving to reach a level currently beyond what one is capable of (future oriented striving), instead maybe strive to practice the correct technique right here and now, as well as possible (present moment striving). Take satisfaction in practicing the technique well, however the session goes. Regardless of the result of any particular session, if you apply the technique to the very best of your ability for each moment of that session, than you have made progress, and that is something to be proud of.

    June 13, 2017 at 7:24 am #1994

    Ted Lemon
    Member

    Striving is generally used to refer to a certain kind of activity in pursuit of the goal which winds up being counterproductive. Culadasa uses the term “diligence” to refer to what you might call wholesome striving, as opposed to “striving” which is unwholesome and causes stress.

    What you have described here is essentially what Culadasa calls “diligence.” Of course, it’s perfectly valid to call it wholesome striving, but that’s not generally how the term “striving” is used in the context of meditation training. Because it’s so frequently used to mean unwholesome effort, particularly in other traditions, using a different word to refer to the activities that are wholesome is helpful.

    June 13, 2017 at 7:27 am #1995

    Sam B
    Member

    Yes I agree diligence is a better word to use. Something about “striving” implies a lot of effort and stress.

    June 13, 2017 at 10:55 am #1996

    ST1000
    Member

    Thank you both that is helpful.

    Steve

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