[Oleg ElkanovMember]

Thank you for your answers, Tucker! I appreciate it very much. With regard to your meditation class, my email is elkanovoleg@gmail.com, I will be more than happy to join.

[Oleg ElkanovMember]

Hello, Tucker, it’s great to meet you! Did you literally have the same symptoms like me, like strange bodily sensations too? Had you meditated for a massive amount of time daily before that happened?
So, I’ve read your post very attentively and I’ve been thinking a lot about it. I do put quite a lot of effort into my practice, the way I approach it I try to make sure that I notice all the breaths, I even anticipate each of them (well, I still miss like 5 in an 11min sit). One question that really bothers me is would I be in this situation I’m experiencing now if I was meditating for 20min, not 3.3hours a day? In other words was it a flawed technique that got me, or was it over-training?
Is there such a thing in meditation as over-training? From a neurological perspective it is a process that abides by the same rules as any grow process in a human body, isn’t it? Stress induces adaptation but it needs to be alternated with adequate rest, is all that even relevant for meditation? I’ve never come across anything on this topic and many schools just say that the more meditation the better.
If it was over-training maybe I should just take a rest from meditation for 3 months, then get back to it and take it easy?
Or maybe I should try to be more relaxed and less focused on the breath and keep going and work through it? If despite my efforts to stay more relaxed I keep experiencing negative side effects between sessions will my practice eventually lead me to the stage of uninterrupted continuity of attention? Please, let me know if you still think that not making any breaks is the way to go.
Today, when I meditated I tried to stay aware of the sounds around me while still keeping count of the breath. Normally I try to minimize audio distractions and don’t really hear anything, but this time I left the window open and while counting the breaths I was also hearing the sounds of the street in the background of my attention. The focus on the breath is definitely weaker this way and I lost count many times. But its hard to say if I am more relaxed and if the general amount of effort is less, I would say it is distributed differently. Every now and then I still have to remind myself to stay aware of the breath and the street noise and that is an effortful activity. I feel like I can only reduce the absolute amount of efforts if I’m willing to accept the fact that there will be more mind wandering and less awareness. Is this what I want to do?

[Oleg ElkanovMember]

It sounds like I’m at the right place then! So, I’ll cut to chase, here is my story. I’ll try to keep it short and relevant, in case some more details are required, please, ask and I’ll be happy to provide them.
I started practicing in February 2014. By that time, I had read the meditation guide on Dharma Treasure and it really answered all the questions I had about the technique.
For about 2.5 months I was doing 5 40min sessions a day of mainly breath counting. During some sessions, I was following the breath identifying its start and finish. During others, I was identifying if it’s long or short. I feel like it is pretty much the same, as what I’m really watching is not just the breath but primarily the quality of my attention and if it stays with the object or if it strays.
Then, between sessions I started feeling some mind fog, some unpleasant sensations in the body (something like you want to yawn and stretch, except if you did, it wouldn’t go away) and generally feeling mentally drained (not emotionally but rather feeling like you wouldn’t want to engage in any type of mental activity that involves concentrating, even small talks with family and friends).
However, I kept going with my practice and in a couple of days it led to somewhat of a full-scale breakdown. I remember I tried to count 10 coins in my hand to pay for a bus and I couldn’t.
I made a 2 week break from meditating. The side effects were gone after 3 days, but when in 2 weeks I restarted they were back again. They were less drastic, something you can live with but you’d rather not. So I decided to limit the amount of my daily practice to mere 11 minutes a day hoping that the side effects will gradually subside and I’ll be able to slowly build up to at least 40min of daily practice. It’s been about 3 months now but nothing has changed really.
I have my own theory about what’s going on, but I would rather hear your opinion first. My hope is that in your teaching practice you’ve met something similar and it was somehow resolved. I’m currently not doing any meditation at all, as it has become clear that the issue is not about to resolve itself and something needs to be changed.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this and will really be looking forward to any advice I can get!

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