[Kim LMember]

@Chloe B

Thank you Chloe. I will look into the acupuncture although right now I can’t leave the house so perhaps it will have to wait a little bit.

@kimw

Thank you Kim. I will check out that guided meditation you mentioned by John Makransky. Easy practice and compassion is what I need to focus on right now as well. Part of the reason I am in this place is an imbalanced practice, exerting too much effort and not listening to my body. Thanks for mentioning Culadasa on meditation leading into sleep.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by  Kim L.

[Kim LMember]

Hi Tim,

I wanted to comment on your trouble sleeping and just make some minor recommendations.
You already said you have spent much time and money researching this but there’s a video by Shinzen Young on youtube about having ‘a good nights rest’ that I wanted to link here for you. I’m having some problems doing so on this forum, but you can easily find the video I believe. It helped me change my attitude towards sleep and has been very helpful.

In that same vein I would like to recommend the practices from the book ‘The Awakening Body’ by Reggie Ray. In it a practice is described which is called ‘whole body breathing’ (it is a bit different from the whole body breathing in TMI though), he also presents a modified version of the practice that can be used at night when one cannot sleep. The practice comes down to resting deeper and deeper in the somatic awareness of the body which is supposed to bring about a deep state of rest and rejuvenation even if sleep remains elusive. This program has one develop greater and greater somatic awareness, in the course of which one becomes able to scan the body in great detail, looking for places that are highly exhausted even though other parts of the body may be very awake and the mind active. One can learn to rest the awareness in these places of the body and go to sleep even though other parts of the soma aren’t tired. This practice is also described briefly in that book. It will take time to develop the capacity to do this though.

Just a couple of recommendations that might be of some help to you.

Warmly,
Kim

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by  Kim L.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by  Kim L.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by  Kim L.

[Kim LMember]

If you are suffering from depression, insomnia, deep resentments, boredom, loneliness and suicidal thoughts like you are describing it is very much time to visit a therapist.

Reading your post it also seems like you are experiencing manic phases aside from the depressive phases. These could point to a number of psychological issues no one on the internet is qualified to diagnose or help treat for you. You are dealing with psychological issues that need the care and help of a professional and not just self help in the form of meditation.

Please take care of yourself,

Kind Regards,
Kim

EDIT: It is from some extensive personal experience that I am giving the above advice to you. Do not take random internet advice on what you should or shouldn’t do, do not take any internet diagnosis from anyone serious, do not listen to anyone who isn’t a qualified professional with experience (and even these can often be hit and miss, I would advise you to exercise a little care with picking a therapist as well).

• This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by  Kim L.

[Kim LMember]

Thank you Blake for all of your responses.

I will work on self pacing and take a breath sometimes before resuming the rat race for enlightenment 😉

[Kim LMember]

I have identified that the reluctance to back down on my practice a bit has to do with aversion and ego. So I resolve to give myself a little bit of a break sometimes. I’m not going to sit for an hour today but will do a little more walking meditation outside and some yoga and bodyscanning.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by  Kim L.

[Kim LMember]

Thank you Blake

Some of those things I already do like a lot of physical exercise, long walks in nature, a protein rich diet, I often do a qigong or yoga routine before bed in order to sleep but it is not very successful as releasing the energy. I am reluctant to cut back on my practice though…

I will look for the articles on that website you linked.

Thanks again!

[Kim LMember]

Okay, I just wanted to add something to what I’m experiencing at the moment because I realized that there is a lot more going on with me.

I have noticed that with the piti occuring in meditation I have also a great increase in overal energy throughout the day. So much so that sometimes I can’t sleep because of it. But the energy is quite.. unruly.. at the moment.

So I really notice that my mind is not ‘one thing’ which is obvious, but is a conglomerate of different motives or energies with completely different ways of thinking attached to them. So now I notice that I can have very high energy in one direction and a specific set of thinking that is attached to the motivation in that direction, next moment I have energy pulling me in an opposite direction with a completely different way of thinking that is convincing me to pull in that direction now…

I have become very aware of this occuring and I believe that is what is always taking place in all people and I have now become very aware of it in myself. But at the same time I think it is way more noticeable now because I just have way, way more energy pulling me in these different directions.

So at the moment I am writing so many notes to myself to not forget my “purpose” or main goals I have now because I know that at a different moment another part of my mind will be in charge… I never did this before.

[Kim LMember]

Hi Bobby,

I haven’t experienced strong dullness in quite a while, but I think the bodily movements and sensations that are occuring are stimulating enough for dullness to be kept at bay. I am still experiencing gross distractions though. Sometimes because of the ‘chaos’ I slip back to stage 3 where I forget the breath but a lot of days I can keep my attention on the breath with gross distractions sometimes taking me off but I never forget the breath. I can discern long from short breaths and my breath sensations often remain quite clear, (I can discern the some different sensations of the inn and outbreath) sometimes the movements of my body make me stop breathing for a while on which point I keep my attention at my nose but I start noticing the way the air moves across the outside of the nose as my body or my head swings from side to side.

Hi Blake,

I will try out your suggestion of focussing on the relaxation. But that is always something I focus a little on when I sit down. The piti actually seems to be arising when I start to really relax into my posture and body. Upon the relaxation I think the energies can allow the movement to start occuring. I always start moving gently first upon “relaxing into myself” before the stronger movements happen when I have focussed my attention for a little while.

I always spend time to keep my periphiral awareness open as well as I used to have a very tight focus on the breath. I now practice keeping that focus with the least amount of effort as possible while I sometimes check in to make sure I am still feeling my body and hearing the sounds around me. Also when a gross distraction presents itself I make sure I don’t yank myself back to the breath but sort of fully allow the distraction to be there first, or ‘relaxing into it’ before returning.

[Kim LMember]

Thank you Blake,

I have read your link and will try the breathing before my next meditation session.
The sensations begin in my lower belly and side body, going to them with my attention does not change the way my body reacts to it.
Today doing a body scan also did nothing to lessen the bodily reactions so perhaps that was just incidental.

I try to be equanimous towards the experience and most of the time its not really unpleasant. I was just wondering if it required another type of approach since piti usually arises in later stages of practice.

[Author]

Posts