Dharma Treasure Community

Hi everybody, I have been practicing meditation for the past couple of years, and have started practicing with Culadasa’s TMI book lately. I find the book very inspiring and helpful, however somehow I’m encountering various types of confusions when working with the four steps method described in stage one.

Perhaps it is natural that I find this somewhat confusing. In years of practicing meditation, I have always started immediately in the fourth step (concentrating on the breath) so the four steps approach is new and unfamiliar. On the one hand, the four steps method makes sense as a way of learning to focus consciousness, but then on the other hand it seems to open the door to different types of confusions between what appears to be contradictions/misunderstandings when interpreting it.

These confusions are often quite difficult to pinpoint and articulate, they might even seem somewhat petty, however since they do come up time and again in my practice and since I want to take this practice seriously, I don’t want to just shrug them off either. I’ve therefore compiled a list of these confusions and I hope that some of you would be kind enough to address these and help me gain a better understanding of this stage, as I’ve been struggling with these questions for some time now.

1. Deciding when to move between stages — Generally I find it difficult to ‘decide’ when to move between the different steps. When am I ready to move from step one to step two, to three? And which occasions justify moving back the steps (for example, losing concentration, but for how long? And then should I go back all the way to step one? And if so, how long should I take to climb back up the steps). Unfortunately, I find my mind busy remembering which stage I’m currently in, and when to move to the next one. I realize all these questions seem petty, but generally I find that taking these decisions seems to take too much deliberation and too much thinking and I’m wondering how to simplify this.

2. Drawing the boundaries between stages – Generally I find it difficult to draw the line between letting attention wander, and focusing it. It seems generally that in the first step one is supposed to allow the attention to wander, and in the fourth step it is supposed to be wholly focused. However, what happens in the 2nd and 3rd stages? In the 2nd step, one is supposed to ‘limit your attention to bodily sensations’ (p.50). Culadasa doesn’t say focus (and how would one focus attention at bodily sensations, since they are pread across the body?) however when a sound captures my attention I suspect I’m doing something wrong since my attention is not limited to bodily sensations , unless I intentionally focus it on particular elements of the body? I need help with understanding how to ‘limit’ consciousness without focusing it.

Also, I find the question of where attention should lie in each stage quite confusing. Say I’m moving from step one to step two, but then my attention is immediately drawn to breath rather than the rest of the body, does that mean I am actually in step three, since it is only there that attention is directed towards the breath. Should one attempt to focus attention on the body specifically rather than breath in that case? Alternatively, if I am moving back to step one, it often feels the way to emphasize this is by moving attention to sound or sight (since these are the only elements that differentiate it from other steps) but then I am intentionally moving my attention which goes contra to instructions to let attention wander… Generally, when entering step one my consciousness tends to go to sound/vision to emphasize that it is in step one which is characterized by the inclusion of these. Then in step two, it tends to go to body, in order to emphasize that it is not in phase one or three, and in phase three it goes to general breath with emphasis on stomach, to emphasize that it is not in step four [nostril breath]. Unfortunately, this does not seem like the right way to go.

3. Focusing attention vs. letting be – Culadasa says, whenever an object arises ‘let it come, let it be, let it go.’ I can see how that relates to objects in the first step, but what about when you reach the fourth step and you encounter say a pain in your body. If one lets it come, be and go, that means attention might stay with the pain for a couple of minutes, but then it is not focused on the breath, which is the instruction for step four. What should one do in that case?

4. Finally. One easier fun question. What do you do when you are in step four and are suddenly overcome with feelings of presence, joy and happiness swamping your whole being. In previous meditation practices I’ve done, this would be awesome, but here I’m asking myself if I’m doing something wrong since in step four I’m ‘supposed’ to have my attention focused on breath only, rather than in full presence and joy.

I realize these are a lot things to address. Would be very thankful for anyone willing to help me get my head around these issues. Thank you.